lundi 9 avril 2007

Ici Zebra3 on a un code 419, demandons renforts

Dans un modeste bureau pas loin de la City.
4 juillet, 15h, 35°C


Image 419eater.com
La poupée se larmoyait au fond du fauteuil que j'avais savament disposé devant mon bureau pour des occasions comme celle-ci. Ni trop prés, ni trop loin, le vieux meuble au cuir élimé, pêché dans un vide grenier, formait avec mon bureau suédois en kit un angle minutieusement calculé pour apprécier les jambes de ce genre de cliente. Mes talents de décorateur d'intérieur étaient enfin reconnus à leur juste valeur par mes penchants de voyeur. Des talons plats à la couture de la micro jupe, s'allongeaient une paire de jambes noires huilées par la canicule. Vive le réchauffement climatique.
Entre deux sanglots, la compagne de feu monsieur M. tentait de m'expliquer la politique intérieure de son pays. Les milices pro gouvernementales soutenues par les Etats Unis, les groupes paramilitaires financés par les producteurs de porcs indépendants, les activistes animistes tapis dans la jungle, profonde à cet endroit là, et au milieu monsieur et madame M. et leurs onze enfants dont sept avaient été adoptés après le massacre de leur famille. J'entendais, mais je ne regardais que ces jambes. Mon esprit enregistrait le son pour analyse future, et se concentrait sur les cuisses dont chaque mouvement pouvait annoncer une ouverture immédiate.
Il n'y avait que quelques mots qui auraient pu me détourner de mon état contemplatif. Et quand elle prononça les mots de 11 millions de dollars en articulant de manière un peu forcée, je basculais instantanément du mode vice au mode avidité. Avant de périr sous les coups de machettes de je ne savais plus qui, le regretté monsieur M. avait placé dans le secret d'une banque occidentale les petites économies d'une vie de ministre de l'industrie, des ressources minières et du pétrole. 11 millions de dollars attendaient la veuve à la "Bank Of Britania Overseas". Ma cliente avait soudain un goût différent à mes yeux. En regardant, plus distraitement maintenant, ses longues jambes je me voyais bien la consoler, lui offrir enfin un peu du bonheur qu'elle n'a pas dû connaître longtemps dans son pays.

Mais l'affaire de succession qui devrait pourtant être une simplissime formalité notariale, se compliquait avec les circonstances. La plante grimpante dont j'allais peut être bientôt voir les dessous s'appellait Rolande B. veuve M. mais elle était maintenant la seule à le savoir. La fuite de son pays avait été organisé dans la hâte via l'ambassade du Royaume Unis avec l'aide d'un diplomate Syrien amis de la famille. Le diplomate avait lui aussi pris la fuite, compromis dans d'obscures affaires de blanchiment que Nicole avouait ne pas comprendre. Elle s'était ainsi retrouvée seule dans Londres, sans un sou, avec juste les vêtements qu'elle portait pour l'enterrement de son regretté mari. Ca devait être un chouette enterrement.

"Je vous paierai, je vous paierai... L'argent n'a aucune importance, répétait-elle en larme. Je suis à bout, je suis prête à tout pour retrouver une vie normale." Le "prête à tout" me parcourut l'échine et imbiba un peu plus le dos de ma chemise. Elle ne semblait pas savoir quelle signification ses paroles pouvaient avoir ici. "Dans mon pays, quelques bakchichs feraient l'affaire. Ici corrompre un fonctionneur occidental sans mon héritage me semble impossible. Mais user de mes charmes ne me fait pas peur, vous savez ?" Elle comprenait finalement la signification de ses paroles. Le polyamide de ma chemise criait à la noyade.

5 juillet, 9h, 24°C
Les nuits brulantes sont encore plus longues lorsque l'on a des millions et une paire de jambes qui vous trottent dans la tête. La fraîcheur du petit matin n'était plus qu'une utopie, et le caleçon, dernier vêtement autorisé quand je suis seul dans mon bureau, m'étouffait tout ce qu'il pouvait. Entre deux appels au service après vente de ma clim, j'appelais un fonctionnaire de sa très gracieuse Majesté au sujet des papiers de l'objet de mes fantasmes. Sans rentrer ni dans les détails luxurieux, ni dans les détails pécuniers, j'essayais de comprendre le fonctionnement de l'administration de la couronne pendant que le fonctionnaire s'évertuait à me demander des précisions sur le fonctionnement de l'administration d'un pays que je ne savais même pas situer sur une carte. Peine et sueur perdues.

Heureusement, la détresse de ma très charmante cliente l'avait poussée à faire des miracles. Elle avait entendu parlé d'un avocat exilé de son pays capable de nous venir en aide. A grands regrêts, j'enfilais un pantalon et une chemise aussitôt baptisée pour la recevoir accompagnée du juriste "qui m'expliquera tout mieux" m'avait-elle dit. Souriant, sans une seule pointe d'accent, le type m'expliqua qu'avoir des documents officiels provenant d'un pays aussi instable était très long et fastidieux, cela pouvait prendre des mois, voire des années si les rumeurs de chute du gouvernement se vérifaient. Et la veuve de fondre à nouveau en larmes. "Je ne pourrais pas attendre aussi longtemps. Que vais-je devenir ? Ah ma soeur, s'écriait-elle fixant le ciel au travers du plafond, pourquoi la maladie t'a emportée avant moi ?" L'avocat à ses cotés eu un regard de compassion. "Vous savez, madame, il y a peut être une solution plus rapide... Mais elle est risquée, assez honoreuse et surtout très illégale".

"Vous êtes mon seul ami, désormais." Elle s'était détendue, ses larmes avaient séché à moins qu'elles aient fondu sur son visage luisant. L'avocat nous avait quittés sur une note d'espoir, laissant néanmoins un air lourd de transgression. "Allez-vous vraiment vous compromettre pour moi ?" En fait de compromission, il s'agissait de faire venir de France par l'avocat des faux papiers capables de tromper un guichetier britannique. "Dès que nous aurons mon héritage, m'aiderez-vous encore à régulariser ma situation ?" Debout devant elle, je posais une main sur son épaule nue, plantait mes yeux au fond des siens. Je la rassurai de quelques mots que je faisais traîner le temps de me régaler de sa peau moite au creux de ma paume brûlante. Un moment passa, j'eu l'impression que sa soeur au dessus du plafond avait tourné le dos. La jolie veuve se leva et déposa un long baiser à la commissure de mes lèvres.

Le bureau d'un commissariat
6 décembre,11h,30°C

"Récapitulons, si vous le voulez bien." Le flic avait des auréoles sous les bras qui faisait penser aux miennes. "Vous avez payé 5.000 livres pour obtenir des faux papiers que vous n'avez pas eus, 1.000 livres pour la location d'une chambre dans un hôtel dont le propriétaire nie avoir eu de cliente correspondant à la description que vous nous avez faite, 500 livres pour des communications internationales sur un téléphone cellulaire vous appartenant, 500 autres livres pour une garde robe..." Abasourdie de chaleur, de déception et de douleur, je trouvais intelligent d'ajouter que j'avais aussi payé à la fausse veuve 500 livres de sous-vêtements fantaisie dont elle était friande. Le fonctionnaire reprima un hoquet goguenard.


Paix et Unité, Force et Progrès. *

Qui n'a jamais reçu ce genre de courrier de l'ex-vice-prince d'une ex-république africaine nouvellement démocratisée à l'ancienne, au coupe-coupe ou à la kalach' ? "Je vous contacte à propos d'un de nos comptes familiaux bancaires en déserrance. Le crédit de ce compte, 11 millions de dollars, est bloqué à défaut de bénéficiaire... etc..." C'est maintenant assez connu comme arnaque. On appelle ça l'arnaque Nigériane, parce que c'est devenu une telle spécialité du pays le plus peuplé et le plus corrompu d'Afrique qu'elle a son propre article dans son code pénal : le code 419. Les américains appellent ça Advance Fee Fraud et estiment que ça rapporte plusieurs centaines millions de dollars par an (bon, en même temps, quand il s'agit du continent africain, a forciori le 3ème producteur de pétrole du continent, peut-on faire confiance aux américains ?). Toutefois, le code 419 a un tel succés au Nigéria que l'EFCC (Economic and Financial Crimes Commission) en a fait sa raison d'être. Et n''imaginez pas une brigade financière costard cravate armée d'attaché-case et de calculettes, quand l'EFCC se déplace c'est pareballes et escorte de bérets verts. On ne rigole pas avec le gagne pain de nigérians (c'est toutefois moins risqué que de lutter contre la corromption de l'état).
*Devise du Nigéria

Du vicomte au producteur de cacao

Cocorico !!! Que le franchouillard de base, chauvin et inquiets de voir la roublardise de ces noirs immigrer dans notre beau pays (spéciale dédicace à Jean Pierre Pernaud) se rassure, il semblerait que le Nigéria n'ait rien inventé. Un pays qui aurait du pétrole ET des idées, ça aurait de quoi faire frémir n'importe quel vicomte vendéen. L'arnaque nigérianne, devrait s'appeler l'arnaque à la française ou comme à l'origine "lettres de Jérusalem". L'arcasineur est d'abord français, Môssieur !!! Le premier à y faire référence n'est autre que Vidocq (pour ceux qui auraient séché les cours de Français et d'Histoire, Eugène-François Vidocq n'est pas uniquement un personnage de roman), dans "Voleurs", son livre destiné à prévenir les honnêtes gens des pratiques des aigrefins (hey ouais, Julien Courbet n'a rien inventé non plus), l'ancien chef de la sureté et ancien bagnard décrivait déjà le principe. A voir sur le site http://www.languefrancaise.net/ quelques exemples de lettres de bagnards destinées à duper le pantre. Quelques extraits trouvés sur ce site : "Poursuivi par les révolutionnaires, M. le vicomte de ***, M. le comte de ***, M. le marquis de *** au service duquel j'étais en qualité de valet de chambre (...) nous pûmes sauver un petit coffre contenant les bijoux de Madame, et 30 000 francs en or (...) après en avoir levé le plan, nous enfouîmes notre trésor(...) Si j'étais assez heureux pour qu'elle vous convînt, je trouverais les moyens de vous faire parvenir le plan, de sorte qu'il ne vous resterait plus qu'à déterrer la cassette ; vous garderiez le contenu entre vos mains ; seulement vous me feriez tenir ce qui me serait nécessaire pour alléger ma malheureuse position."
Le style, les propos, ont traversé les siècles et les continents sans prendre une seule ride. Quelle belle chose que l'ingéniosité française.


Je suis le master, tu es le mugu !!!




image 419eater.com
Un cyber-arnaqueur usant de a fraude 419, s'appelle un mugu aujourd'hui (l'argot non plus ne connait ni les frontières ni les océans), ou scammer pour les destinataires de leurs mails. Si le Nigéria en est le leader mondial incontesté, on voit apparaître des mugus en Côte d'Ivoire, Sénégal, Roumanie, Afrique du Sud... Lorsque cela vient d'Afrique, le rebelle altermondialiste qui sommeille en moi et parle en dormant, me dit que pour une fois qu'un africain peut vivre aux frais du gros occidental cupide et pêté de thunes ce serait bien de faire semblant d'ignorer le sujet et d'afficher un sourire bienveillant. Même si la ruine et la honte de quelques naifs poussent parfois au suicide, doit-on pour autant dénoncer un scammer aux brigades financières blindées d'attaque ? Faut-il vraiment afficher au mur de l'opprobe les trombines majoritairement noires de ces escrocs au risque d'attirer les consciences borgnes et leur morale raciste ? "Regardez ces nègres qui piquent dans le porte monnaie de leurs maîtres blancs, qu'ils retournent à leurs (nos) champs de coton OGM". Ce sont les premières questions éthiques que je me suis posées en parcourant les sites des Master Baiters (prononcez bien si vous êtes en face d'un anglophone, sinon il va comprendre masturbators).


Je suis le master, tu es le mugu !!!




image thescambaiter.com
Les baiters luttent aussi contre ces scammers. Mais c'est la réponse douce comparée aux méthodes de l'EFCC, ya basta les menottes et les barreaux, un baiter tape là où ça fait pas trop mal en rendant quand même l'arnaque beaucoup plus drôle et beaucoup moins rentable. Puisque l'escroquerie fonctionne à base de scénarios de polar, la parade consiste à lui jouer un contre-scénario. En se faisant passer pour un gogo, documents aussi faux que ceux de l'escroc à l'appui, le baiter embarque le mugu dans des histoires abracadabrantesques (hey !!! bonne idée pour notre politique intérieure... heu... Ah ben, ils y ont déjà pensé). Le but du jeu consiste à lui faire perdre son temps, ses nerfs, sa patience, parfois un peu d'argent. Idéalement, on finit par lui entamer la dignité en affichant sur un site web, en guise de trophée, sa photo (ou peut être celle d'un complice involontaire) un poisson, une chaussure ou un sceau sur la tête, une pancarte à la main proclamant la gloire du baiter, des préférences sexuelles hasardeuses ou un gout prononcé pour l'extrémité de l'intestin humain. En français, baiter se dit "croque-escroc", j'en ai trouvé plusieurs (ça c'est pour dire pas beaucoup) dont Julia et ses amis cyber arnaqueurs. La belleImage, tour à tour riche héritièreImage, Gary ColemanImage (Arnold d'Arnold et Willy, à moins que ce soit Willy), Georges Imageou Jeffrey (tout le monde) s'amuse aussi à "tu me scammes, je te scamme...". Elle se frotte tour à tour à des veuves de ministre philippin Image, des filles de marchand de cacao défunt , et même à des responsables des achats en fournitures de bureau . Ses scambaitings sont des romans épistolaires, la Vidocq des temps modernes joue les victimes avec des mugus qui finissent embobinés (croqués) après de nombreux mails qui sont autant de perte de temps. C'est beaucoup plus soft, que les baiters anglosaxons (et masculins) qui eux vont parfois très (trop ?) loin avec leur victime. Mais les contre-escroqueries de la plus jolie croque-escroc sont aussi hilarantes sans pour autant nouer les parties génitales de ses correspondants.


Aucun mugu n'a été blessé ou maltraité durant la rédaction de ce post


photo http://nigerian.scam.signgenerator.net/
A force de parcourir de nombreux sites sur le sujet, j'ai été tenté de m'y mettre moi aussi. J'ai longuement hésité entre le rôle du baiter ou du mugu. Voire même, pervers comme je suis, de me faire passer pour un mugu auprès d'un baiter et mettre à l'épreuve sa patience, ses ressources et son imagination. Un genre de croque-croque-escroc qui se morderait la queue (symboliquement parlant, bien sûr). Mais finalement, n'ayant toujours pas abandonné toute sympathie pour le scammer de brousse et ayant beaucoup de respect et d'admiration pour le baiter des villes, je vais me contenter de compter les points, et jouer à mon tour les Vidocq en vous mettant en garde contre les pratiques des aigrefins modernes. En espérant secretement que les plus cupides d'entre vous se laisseront avoir.



Fébronio

Quelques liens à propos du Code 419 :


Francophones :
Définition sur Wikipédia : http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fraude_4-1-9


Julia croque-escroc :
Jules Pieznu (aka François Bellététoi, aka John C. Houmemettre, aka Père Pie-Khass, aka Contesso Do Mitte, aka Révérend Père jp, de la Très Sainte Congrégation de l'Humérus de Saint François en Belgique, aka etc...) croque-escroc belge : http://users.skynet.be/didge/

Scambaiters anglo-saxons (attention, contenu parfois explicite... y'a un peu de cul des fois, quoi !!!) :
La référence : http://419eater.com
Assez destroy : http://thescambaiter.com
Baiting est un jeu : http://www.419baiter.com/


Pfiouuuuuh, va falloir relire tout ça ????

84 commentaires:

Le Renard Rouge a dit…

Il m'est arrivé d'avoir pris des mesures contres des pratiques malhonnêtes mais plutot liées à m'hammeçonnage.

Pour info, l'hammeçonnage (Pishing) consiste à recupèrer des information importantes, souvent liée à la Carte Banquaire (code personnel, numèro cryptogramme visuel, nom d'utilisateur, date d'expiration) afin de fabriquer une clone de la carte d'origine.

Il faut espèrer qu'ils aient quelques notions de français, car en plus d'avoir des numèros, codes, dates, cryptogrammes bidons, ils ont eux la très grande chance d'avoir une carte au nom de "Ducon La Joie"

Nevrosia a dit…

Excellent! Mais il s'agit d'une version "longue" de l'histoire, non ? :-))
Pas assez fraîche pour réagir de façon compréhensible (surtout après les 2h qu'ont duré la lecture de ton post ;-), mais je repasse...

Febronio a dit…

Renard, oui le fishing est aussi une plaie, mais beaucoup moins "amusante". En plus ça nécessite d'autres moyens hors de portée de la plupart des mugus. Et surtout, ça exploite la faiblesse des connaissances techniques de leur victime. Le code 419 me plaît beaucoup plus parce que ça fait souvent appelle à la cupidité des victimes (et c'est un vilain défaut).
Névrosia, j'ai essayé de faire court, mais court ça me plaisait pas (tant pis pour les lecteurs qui souffrent :) )... Des fois ça me plait aussi d'imaginer d'arriver à bout de leur faculté de concentration (même si moi aussi, j'ai du mal à tout lire... donc à me relire), je les imagines le moteur toussotant se lacher en piquer vers leur clavier (je suis un sadique !!!).

Fébronio

zara whites a dit…

okay, là, la blonde doit avouer que tu l'as perdue quelque part...elle n'a pas tout à fait capté l'article et ne peut donc pas te faire un comm sans faire remarquer qu'elle n'a rien compris...tant pis...je t'embrasse quand même très fort!!!

Febronio a dit…

Oui, Zara, c'est vrai j'ai pas vraiment fait dans la pédagogie. Rassure-toi, tu dois pas être la seule. Je ne voulais pas écrire une encyclopédie (quoique, en 15 volumes de 1300 pages, ça aurait de la gueule). Certains des sites mentionnés dans ce post l'ont déjà fait (et visiblement mieux que je pourrais le faire).
Mon idée de départ était d'introduire bizarrement le sujet avec une arnaque fictive basée sur les mêmes principes que l'arnaque par courrier mais dans la vraie vie (la vraie vie imaginaire, quoi !!!... Tain, quand je vous dis que je suis pas bon en pédagogie). L'autre moitié du post ce sont quelques infos réelles à propos de la fraude 419 (qui sert de base à l'histoire de la première partie). Le tout mastiqué (avec du mastique, pas avec les dents) avec ma sauce à moi (Bon, les pervers m'auront mal compris... pour une fois... les littéraires feront la part des choses).
Pour résumer, c'est des africains (mais pas seulement) qui escroquent les occidentaux en leur racontant des belles histoires (un peu comme moi avec mes textes à rallonges).

Fébronio

cheb a dit…

J'ai pas tout compris non plus n'empêche que j'a ben ri !

N'oublie pas que nous somme des fainéants de consommateurs, faut faire court !

Le Renard Rouge a dit…

Non, il suffit de générer aleatoirement des numèros de CB, qui, s'ils sont valides ne correspondent à rien du tout, les autres information pouvant être inventées de toute pièces. Quand il s'agit de PayPal, c'est encore plus simple, puisque qu'une adresse mail bidon et un mot de passe tout aussi bidon est nécessaire.

La première affaire que j'ai vu, c'est, il y a quelques années, une page destinée à récupèrer les identifiants AOL. Son code souce était crypté afin que l'on ne retrouve pas les destinataire des formulaires. Malheureusement, cette protection a été cassée assez rapidement... ;-)

Febronio a dit…

Bonne soeur à la dérive :

From Sister Vivian, Greetings in name of our Lord Jesus Christ. I am Mrs Vivian Thomas,69 years old widow & a new Christian convert,suffering from long time cancer of the blood (Leukaemia According to my doctor my condition is critical and I might not survive. Although as a christian,I beleive God and I know that I will not die,but will live to declare the glory of God. My late husband (Dr.Martins Thomas)and my only son were killed during the ABIDJAN BOUAKE Crisis some years back(take a look) Our Lord Jesus Christ is my only comforter. I have the sum of Five million,One hundred thousand US Dollars($5.1m) The fund is presently deposited with a financial company for security reasons and all the documents concerning the fund are in the custody of my lawyer. I inherited the money from my late husband who was an industralist and international businessman. I have prayed concerning this donation for God's guidance and if in your heart you geniunely and faithfully desire-to use this fund for the propagation of God's work in any form whether for charity, ministry,evangelical work or otherwise in relation to God'swork,do get in touch with me for further arrangements with my lawyer on how you willreceive my Charity donation. God bless you once again and as you receive,give and give God all the Glory. Remain blessed in the Lord Yours in Christ, Mrs. Vivian Thomas DIVINE CALL

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